Reading Between The Lines
by Skipsida
Summary: You mean it's not enough we're trying to save the world, now we've got to pay damage bills!" Oh, it gets much worse, Kamui! Charity events and part-time jobs result...
1. Prologue

_Note: This takes place before all hell starts breaking loose in Tokyo, a sort of parallel storyline, if you like. Both sides have been more or less assembled but there's been no deaths in either side yet, and Subaru is still visually able. Any screwing around with sequencing of events is for the sake of the story. Much silliness is ahead, enjoy, and remember that you can influence the outcome of the story: up first is the casting!_  
  
Prologue – The Summoning  
  
It was just your average morning in X-land. The various destiny-carrying Dragons were eating, angsting and being bish, as per usual, scattered in their usual places of residence in the city, completely unaware of the bombshell about to be thrown on the table.  
_  
"About now they should be opening their post…"_  
  
"Letters, everyone!" Yuzuriha called, chirpily, plonking them down on the table. No one paid much attention at first, with Sorata being whacked by Arashi, and Kamui and Subaru angsting. But after a moment, Sorata, rubbing his head, decided to turn his attention from Arashi to something less hazardous to his health and reached for his letter.  
  
"Why does everyone have envelopes with identical letter heads on them?" Yuzuriha asked, as she shredded her envelope enthusiastically.  
  
"Pfft, probably bills," snorted Sorata, but opened it anyway because he didn't get mail often.  
_  
"You did take care in the way you phrased it though… right?"_  
  
"What?!" came the horrified chorus of the assembled Dragons of Heaven, as they reached the key sentence in the second paragraph at the same time.  
  
_"Just what did you put in those letters?"_  
  
"Oh, this is too good," smirked Seishirou, as he put down the letter and took a sip of his coffee.  
_  
"Oh, nothing too bad…"_  
  
"This isn't happening," muttered Kakyou, "not even I could have seen this coming."  
_  
"… I gave them the official story…"_  
  
"A charity play? Whose lame idea was that?! Is there even a point to it?!" snorted Sorata.  
  
"I think the point is to raise morale," Arashi said irritably, skim-reading the letter with an icy but strained voice, "because all the damage done by various battles and the earthquakes seemed to have given the public the idea that something is amiss. And it's an election year this year, so it's to the government's advantage, I'm sure."  
_  
"..and of course the Dragons of Heaven will agree, either out of wanting to do good towards the human race…"_  
  
"I think it's a great idea!" Yuzuriha enthused.  
  
_"…or out of suspicion, sensing a trap."_  
  
"What I'm curious about is why they chose us," Sorata mused, "it can't be random."  
  
"It could be," Arashi pointed out, "they mention that well-known public figures will be featuring, including the editor of Asuka and the head of the Sumaragi Clan, as well as us. And the letter seems to be talking about Japan showing unity in a troubled times, so if religious and government leaders banded together, along with popular figures, it would enforce their message."  
  
"Then, in that case, why does Kamui have an invitation? As far as those organizing this know, he's -" Subaru started.  
  
" – a nobody," Kamiu finished, looking at the table angstily.  
  
"You sure are," Sorata agreed.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Nothing."  
_  
"But, either way, they've got no choice…"_  
  
"Hey, there's more on the back!" Yuzuriha cried.  
  
As one, they turned the page over… and turned pale.  
_  
"… trust me, I made sure of it. I tailored each threat individually. Not even the Dragons of Earth will be getting out of this one…"_  
  
The Beast whimpered pathetically as Satsuki whispered comfortingly at it, then she emailed a reply, the expression on her face like that of one condemning their first-born child to death.  
I'll do it.  
_  
"… although I think some of them will just be in to torture their opposite numbers."_  
  
"Kamui in pantaloons? Now this I gotta see," crowed Fuuma.  
_  
"You are one evil man, Tony."  
  
"Why, yes. Yes, I know."_  
  
"So what is this play we've got to do anyway?" came Kamui's slightly strangled voice.  
  
"I think it was Shakespeare," Arashi replied. "Twelfth Night, I believe."  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"Hang on, isn't that the one with the crossdressing?"  
_  
He breathed out and a plume of smoke danced up into the night sky. He avoided looking at the other sitting next to him, concentrating only on the cigarette in his fingers.  
  
"I hope you know what you're getting into, Tony-san. No, you can't, you really can't. Otherwise, why are you here?"  
  
He shrugged. "To put on a play and entertain the good people of Japan. To write my thesis on translation across cultures and languages."  
  
"You know what I'm talking about. Why are you really here? What does your government know?"  
  
"That we are facing the world's end and don't want to. Haven't you heard? Australian intelligence isn't an oxymoron after all." He laughed humourlessly. "And so, I'm here. To find out what is going on."  
  
"If your intelligence is so good, then you'd know you've been sent here on a suicide mission. This is nothing to do with explosives and terrorism, it is far beyond that. It is a world you cannot understand."  
  
"Hence my thesis." He let out a cat-like smile. Surely you didn't think I was referring only to classic literature? I'm interested in Omyouji, something which is distinctly Japanese. The Western world doesn't quite have an equivalent."  
  
"You are mad! You are playing with fireworks! You honestly intend to bring the Seals and Angels together just to watch them fight?!"  
  
"Well, no. I did intend to put on a play, you understand. But observing their interactions would be rather entertaining. I hear that they have some incredibly powerful sorcerers among them, although that's not surprising considering they are to bring on the apocalypse. But what is there to fear? The world isn't due to end for another few months anyway, so any battles and property damage which may take place is purely coincidental. This is just to let them kill time… and possibly each other… okay, and a great deal of innocent bystanders."  
  
The Other stared at him. "Knowing all that, you still came here, unprepared? You are no sorcerer, that much I am sure of! How do expect to keep that rabble together without fighting for more than five minutes?"  
  
"Oh? I'm not quite that unprepared. True, I may not be able to summon demons to do my bidding, but I have certain… abilities."  
  
"Namely?"  
  
"Empathy. Among other things. I can play people as you would a piano. And I intend to use this to my full advantage for my true mission."  
  
"What's that?" Suspiciously.  
  
He laughed evilly. "To see Kamui in a dress, what else?"  
  
It was then that the Other started to seriously worry about the fate of the planet… and so, the die was cast._  
  
Skipsida's Note: Hey, it's the first fanfic I've written in ages. And it seems I've jumped series, from FY to X. Well, whatever! Read. Enjoy. Review. Because reviewing will be vital to pick the cast in the next chapter…  
  



	2. Chapter 1 Apprehension

**Chapter 1 – Apprehension**  
  
Shigure Yamada hated his job. No, not hated, loathed it. And he'd only had it for, what? Half an hour? In fact, the first twenty-nine and a half minutes hadn't even been that bad. Oh no, what really started causing problems was when, at precisely half-past-nine, all six Dragons of Heaven and their Kamui showed up at his office, demanding an explanation. Hell, one would have been bad enough!  
  
"Look, it's like this," he said, to the skeptical faces in front of him, as he shut his door carefully. "There's been an exponential increase in property damage due to earthquakes and epic battles lately."  
  
This comment certainly got a few raised eyebrows. He sat down and swiveled his chair to face the group.  
  
"In other words, you guys aren't doing your jobs properly. So, in order to pay back some of the damage you've caused, we want you to do this charity play for us. It's nothing major."  
  
Kamui's eyes flashed and when he spoke, his voice was filled with fury. "So saving the world isn't enough now, is it?"  
  
"Well," Shigure shuffled, and it was only due to the fact that he was a dedicated public servant that he continued, "you could do it more tidily…"  
  
Kamui's hand slammed down on Shigure's desk, scattering papers everywhere. "Why you…!"  
  
Sorata tried to hold him back. "Kamui, calm down!"  
  
Shigure just gave Kamui a long-suffering glance. "Look, I think it's a stupid idea too, but I'm not the one in charge here, I'm only the producer. I organize funding for this and distribute the proceeds. You have problems with it, tough, I'm not the person to yell at."  
  
"Just how did this idea come about?" asked Karen, as Kamui grudgingly returned to his seat. She leaned over towards Shigure alluringly, hoping to for some interesting morsel of information to slip.  
  
He gulped at tried to keep his eyes on her face. "I…I don't know!"  
  
"Funny that the government would know about all this too…" Seiichirou added, cheerfully, "since I don't remember putting "Dragon of Heaven" as my profession for the census last year."  
  
Shigure fiddled with his tie, and tried not to flush. "Come on, you've been attempting to hold off the apocalypse in the city, you can't expect people not to notice these things."  
  
Sorata, who had been about to say something, paused and held up a finger. "He's got a point, y'know."  
  
Everyone shuffled uncomfortably. "Well…"  
  
"So that's settled then, here are your scripts," Shigure said, seizing the moment and shoving a thick pile of books into the hands of Subaru, who happened to be sitting closest.  
  
"But…" Yuzuriha started.  
  
Shigure ignored her. "Show up at ten tomorrow for auditions. Now I'll have to say good-bye because I've got an appointment in five minutes."  
  
And with that, much to their confusion, the group found themselves in the hallway, facing a closed door.  
  
"But… we didn't even agree to anything…" Yuzuriha trailed off and sighed.  
  
It was a rather more dejected group that exited the building. So much so that they didn't even notice the other crowd storming in past them. Luckily the newcomers seemed to too furious to realize the significance of the other group leaving, and instead stormed through the corridors like a force 10 cyclone.  
  
As they smashed down Shigure's doors, he sighed and checked his watch. Yep, right on time. "Melodramatic, I'll give you that, but you'd better pay for that door," he said, by way of greeting. "Now, you have something to say for yourselves?"  
There was a pause.  
  
Then, Fuuma, the only one apart from Seishirou still capable of saying anything but incoherent ranting, spoke up, with a smirk. "You mentioned Kamui in pantaloons, I believe?"  
  
"So what's the play about again?" Yuuto asked, with a cheerful smile. "I can't say I'm exactly an expert on English literature."  
  
"Viola, this girl with a brother complex gets shipwrecked in a strange land and decides to cross-dress as her brother, who she thinks is dead, and help this obsessive stalker Count Orsino get together with the woman he loves," Satsuki recited in a bored monotone.  
  
"I wouldn't have thought you'd be into human literature," Kanoe said, looking surprised.  
  
"When I'm bored I read the internet," Satsuki replied. "Or at least, that tiny fraction of it which isn't porn. May I continue?"  
  
"By all means."  
  
"The woman, Olivia, who, incidentally, not only has a brother complex but a father one, and after their deaths decided to stay away from men, probably because she brought them bad luck or something. Naturally Viola falls in love with Orsino and Olivia falls with in love with Viola, who she thinks is a boy, and general chaos ensues, not helped by the fact that Viola's brother, Sebastian, the one who should be dead, isn't, and wanders around confusing everyone. In the end, Olivia and Orsino get one twin each and live happily ever after."  
  
Seishirou snorted, with an amused glint in his eye. "Only one twin? Why not both? Now there's a man with no aspirations."  
  
"The idiot should have stuck with Olivia, if she's that popular she'd have to be a babe," Yuuto disagreed. Satsuki started looking a little irritated, and Yuuto, who noticed this, instantly shut up.  
  
Fuuma stretched out and yawned. "You're both wrong. If Orsino was a Count it would be within his power to lock them all up in his dungeon and that way he gets the twins and Olivia at the same time."  
  
"There is more!" Satsuki steered the conversation back on topic. "There's also a sub-plot about the servants, with Maria, Olivia's maid, Sir Toby, Olivia's uncle and Sir Andrew, another doting suitor, plotting together with Feste the Fool to humiliate this other servant, Malvolio who is incredibly up himself and has a thing for Olivia as well. Essentially, there's two stories going on at the same time."  
  
"A story within a story," Kakyou said, dreamily.  
  
"Go back to sleep, Kakyou," Fuuma said, kindly. Kakyou obliged.  
  
"So… we're supposed to star in that?" Kusanagi asked, breaking his usual silence.  
  
"Oh, so you're talking to us now?" Seishirou smiled, like a crocodile.  
  
"Looks like it," Yuuto said, hurridly, before a fight started.  
  
"Isn't there any way we can get out of it?" Satsuki asked, plaintively.  
  
All eyes turned to Kanoe, who shrugged, then to Kakyou.  
  
Kakyou rolled his eyes. "There is only one future." The background changed from that of a sunny ice-cream parlor to that of the Dust Bowl at the End of the World and the other six Angels groaned simultaneously, knowing what was coming. "For the Promised Day will-"  
  
"Get to the point," Seishirou interrupted, "some of us have jobs to go to after this."  
  
The other Angels took a not-so-subtle step back at this, but Kakyou just sighed and said, "Yes, there's no way we can weasel out of this one-"  
  
"Thank you, that's all we needed to know."  
  
"But if it's any comfort to you, the Seven Seals also have some involvement in this. No doubt you'll come up with many small and large ways to make their lives more unpleasant than they already are while they huddle together in a corner and angst."  
  
"What?! You mean they're involved in this too? But I heard nothing of this from Hinoto!" Kanoe was shocked.  
  
"Then it appears that this even took Hinoto by surprise," Kakyou said, calmly. "Because, sure as eggs are pineapples, I didn't see this coming."  
  
"Sure as eggs are pineapples?" Fuuma raised an eyebrow.  
  
Kakyou scowled. "Look, I didn't come up with it, you try being a random observer to dreams and see how you are affected? I know I've got issues, but my psychologist says I'm making progress, and it's just part of what makes me a unique individual."  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"What's a psychologist?" asked Nataku, who had been making sand-castles in the background.  
  
The dreamscape faded and they found themselves back in the ice-cream parlor.  
  
"Well!" Kusanagi said, which summed it up rather nicely.  
  
There was a further pause before Yuuto asked Kanoe, "You mean someone actually took it seriously when you suggested we all had counseling?"  
  
"He's a dreamseer too," Kanoe pointed out. "After seeing what the Seals are like, he got quite scared and decided to have all his psychological problems sorted out before the Promised Day."  
  
"That sounds rather unlikely," Fuuma replied, "considering his Wish is for me to kill him, so it's not like he'll enjoy the results very long."  
  
"Okay, so I really withheld the hallucinogens from his drip. How else do you think he gets all those visions? But seriously, I truly think you should all give counseling a try."  
  
"You've changed," observed Satsuki, "normally you don't care how homicidal, sadistic or otherwise warped we are."  
  
Kanoe shuffled. "At work we all involuntarily went psychological assessment. I've now got an appointment with Dr Yashimoto twice a week." Her eyes glinted dangerously. "And if I go down, I'm taking you with me, you hear? Label me an exhibitionist nymphomaniac schizophrenic, will they?!"  
  
"You forgot voyeuristic," Kakyou mumbled.  
  
There was silence for a few seconds after the slap, and the Angels quickly resumed eating their icecream to avoid having to find something to say.  
  
Seishirou finished his popsicle first.  
  
"No stamina," Fuuma commented, with a grin, licking his own, which was barely started.  
  
"No rest for the wicked," Seishirou replied, smiling, "I've got work to do."  
  
"Don't forget your script," Nataku said, brightly, handing him the thick wad of paper.  
  
Seishirou gave him an indulgent smile. "Thank you." He turned towards Fuuma, who was deep-throating his popsicle, smirking, and said, "Shame on you, doing such things in front of children."  
  
"Like you can talk," Fuuma countered. He removed the stick from his mouth, swallowing the entire icecream in one go, and licked his lips.  
  
Seishirou whistled, appreciatively. "Nice party trick."  
  
Fuuma smirked. "Like me to demonstrate it for you sometime?"  
  
"Demonstrate what, Daddy?" Nataku asked, looking up curiously.  
  
"You don't want to know," Yuuto replied, turning as green as his choc-mint cone.  
  
Seishirou chuckled, "The difference between you and I, 'Kamui', is that I have class. And also that if I attempt to pollute young children's minds I do it properly and explain what certain 'things' mean. It's so much more fun to embarrass  
them that way."  
  
Nataku was looking up at 'Daddy' and Seishirou in confusion at this point, then gave up and ate his icecream, wearing half of it in the process.  
  
"Well, I'll be off. Goodbye all."  
  
And with that, the meeting rapidly broke up, as the various Angels returned to their lives.  
  
"Does anyone know what we're actually going to be auditioning as?" Kamui scowled to the rest of the Seals, who were slumped around a makeshift headquarters at CLAMP campus.  
  
"Well, I presume as characters in the play, but if you mean which characters, I'm not sure," Karen replied, thumbing through her copy of the play, humming cheerfully as she did so. "I never imagined I'd break into the acting industry in this way!"  
  
"Which way did you think you would?" asked Yuzuriha, her face radiating confused innocence.  
  
Karen winked. "I'll leave it to your imagination."  
  
Kamui, Seiichiro and Sorata blushed slightly, much to Karen's amusement, while Yuzuriha just looked even more confused. Subaru and Arashi were looking distinctly bored by the conversation already.  
  
"Well, I guess it's fair to assume that they aren't expecting us to memorize the entire play overnight," Arashi decided, "because I doubt that's humanly possible. So maybe we've just got to read it through then show up talking about our character preferences."  
  
There was a pause as everyone read through the brief synopsis at the beginning of the play, which summarized the various characters.  
  
"Nee-chan, it's clear that you'd make a terrific Olivia, while I definitely want to play Orsino," Sorata announced.  
  
"Orsino? Isn't he Olivia's obsessive stalker?" Yuzuriha said, brightly.  
  
Sorata gave an embarrassed laugh, as the other Seals all laughed, and even Arashi and Subaru managed smiles. "Yes, well," he said, "I can sympathize with him completely. She doesn't talk to him, want to see him, it's enough to break his poor heart. She's lucky she has such a caring, determined man after her, other people would have already given up."  
Arashi gave him the sort of startled look that suggested this had never occurred to her, then pursed her lips and declined commenting.  
  
"Do you think that the casting will be determined by gender, age and appearance or by personality?" Seiichiro asked, skimming his way through the text.  
  
No one had an answer to this.  
  
Subaru shrugged. "I suppose it'll be up to the director. He or she is the one in charge of this, so I assume we won't really get much of a say. That's how it usually is in most jobs, isn't it? This just happens to be one of the more interesting jobs I'll have to put on my resume."  
  
"You have a resume?" Karen asked, interested. "Do you put your profession as an Omyouji on it?"  
  
"Well, it's my only real job qualification," Subaru pointed out, "considering I never finished high school and never have worked elsewhere, and thus have no references." He paused, considering the truth of this fact. Actually, he did have a reference, he'd done work experience at Seishirou's surgery, in the days when Seishirou had still been a vet. Somehow, he didn't think that having the Sakurazukamori on his resume would impress anyone. Terrify, perhaps, as it would the imply the threat of being assassinated if Subaru wasn't given a job (never reject the Sakurazukamori's squeeze toy if you value your life), but it hardly was impressive to anyone out of the arcane industry.  
  
"I really hope that the charity concert covers the damage costs," Seiichiro sighed, "because I'd really have to take out a loan at this stage in my career, I don't know what my wife would think."  
  
"I wouldn't worry about it," Sorata replied, "because there's always the 50 chance that the world will be destroyed on the promised day." He was shot a Death Glare™ by Kamui and quickly laughed and said, "Only joking, Kamui, only joking."  
  
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Kamui muttered, angrily.  
  
"But what will we do if we have to pay the rest of the rebuilding costs?" Yuzuriha asked. "Does that mean…" her eyes lit up, "we could all get part-time jobs!"  
  
With this, an apprehensive mood fell over the table at the prospect of this bizarre bunch trying to find decent employment.  
  
_"Tony-san," the Other complained, "they broke my office door. I hope your government is planning to pay for that."  
  
"Naturally, Yamada-san," Tony replied, smoothly, "anything for our Japanese friends."  
  
"That sounds vaguely ominous," Shigure commented.  
  
"Oh, does it? I'm sorry."  
  
"What does your government plan to do though, having assembled the various Dragons?"  
  
"If we cannot avert the potentially apocalypse-causing battle, at least tip the balance so that humanity lives to breathe another day. You probably wouldn't be surprised to know that we've got an entire Bureau devoted to it. At the moment, we've got agents in the Otori academy, investigating 'World's End', not to mention people investigating several other incidents across the world. In other words, the same line of work as you.."  
  
"True," Shigure, conceded, "although my role is more that of a lowly bureaucrat, just gathering information."  
  
"In other words, you're a spy keeping an eye on what I'm up to?" Tony smiled. Shigure did a double take. "Well, I did say that Australian intelligence is better than you'd take it for. And I can't say I blame you, I am fully aware of how risky this is. But, on the bright side, if everything turns out well, at the very least the job of rebuilding will be subsidized."  
  
"But, if it fails… well, I suppose we won't have long to worry about it, will we?"  
  
"Don't be so pessimistic, Producer-san. This will be a great play, the best production of Twelfth Night that Japan has ever seen."  
"Oh, so you're back to the role of Director again?"  
  
"Naturally. And I expect I will be in this role for some time yet. We're in this together, Producer-san, so just trust me."  
  
"I'll try," Shigure mumbled.  
_**  
  
Skipsida's note**: So… the casting begins! It's up to the reviewers to choose who does what role, so review! The roles are:  
  
**The main love plot  
**Viola: The star, basically. A girl cross-dressing as a boy after being shipwrecked in a foreign country. She works for  
  
Orsino as his servant and is supposed to get Olivia to fall in love with Orsino, but falls in love with Orsino herself, which inevitably causes problems.  
  
Sebastian: Viola's twin, who is thought to be dead in the shipwreck (and he also thinks she is dead). Wanders around causing confused for Viola and being confused himself over the whole situation.  
  
Orsino: The Duke ruling the land of Illyria, who is in love with Olivia and won't take no for an answer. Oblivious to the fact "Cesario" is actually a girl.  
  
Olivia: After her brother and father dies, she decides to stay away from male company. She has absolutely no interest in  
  
Orsino, but when she sees Cesario (Viola dressed as a boy) she falls in love with him (her). And confusion reigns as soon as Sebastian enters town…  
  
Valentino and Curio: Orsino's manservants. Minor roles  
  
A sea captain: He saved Viola from the shipwreck and keeps her secret. A minor role.  
  
A priest: A minor role.  
  
Antonio: Saved Sebastian from the shipwreck and helps him in Illyria, despite being a criminal there . Acts above and beyond the call of friendship and if it weren't Shakespeare, my shounen-ai sensors would be ticking…  
  
First officer and second officer: They come chasing after Antonio at an inconvenient moment. Minor roles.  
  
**The subplot (the gulling of Malvolio)  
**  
Malvolio: Olivia's steward, who is incredibly pompous and a notorious puritan party-pooper. Yelling at Maria, Sir Toby and Sir Andrew is the last straw, and they decide to get revenge against him…  
  
Maria: Olivia's lady in waiting. A clever woman full of witty puns, who can't stand Malvolio. She hatches the plot to punish him.  
  
Sir Toby Belch: Olivia's uncle, a drunkard who loves having a good time. Admires Maria greatly for her wits and her plot.  
  
Sir Andrew Aguecheek: A rather clueless suitor of Olivia who is firmly rejected. Rather pathetic and dimwitted, but who readily goes along with the plot.  
  
Feste: Olivia's jester, although he occasionally visits Orsino's court. Probably the only sane person in the whole play, with a rather sarcastic sense of humor. He also joins the plot.  
  
Fabian: A member of Olivia's household, who goes along with the plot because he can't stand Malvolio.  
  
**My own ideas:** Heh. Naturally I've got my own ideas for what'd be amusing, and considering how complicated the love-plot is, I think it'd be amusing to have Seishirou as the obsessive Orsino, Subaru, mourning Hokuto, as Olivia, Kamui as Viola and Fuuma as Sebastian. I mean, the two 'Kamui' don't look that alike, but enough so that it's credible. laughs Or, alternately, the coupleless casting could be Yuzuriha as Viola, Kamui as Sebastian (they do like kinda similar), Arashi as Olivia the ice-maiden and Yuuto as the playboy Duke Orsino. As for the others, well… while I'd like to see the couples stick together, I'm going for the biggest amusement factor here, as well as matching up characters by personality, not necessarily gender. Nevertheless, I'm in love with the idea of the yaoi fangirls' favourite love square thingy being translated into Twelfth Night. So… what does everyone else think? (Hint: click "review"!)  
  
**Chapter 1 – Apprehension**  
  
Shigure Yamada hated his job. No, not hated, loathed it. And he'd only had it for, what? Half an hour? In fact, the first twenty-nine and a half minutes hadn't even been that bad. Oh no, what really started causing problems was when, at precisely half-past-nine, all six Dragons of Heaven and their Kamui showed up at his office, demanding an explanation. Hell, one would have been bad enough!  
  
"Look, it's like this," he said, to the skeptical faces in front of him, as he shut his door carefully. "There's been an exponential increase in property damage due to earthquakes and epic battles lately."  
  
This comment certainly got a few raised eyebrows. He sat down and swiveled his chair to face the group.  
  
"In other words, you guys aren't doing your jobs properly. So, in order to pay back some of the damage you've caused, we want you to do this charity play for us. It's nothing major."  
  
Kamui's eyes flashed and when he spoke, his voice was filled with fury. "So saving the world isn't enough now, is it?"  
  
"Well," Shigure shuffled, and it was only due to the fact that he was a dedicated public servant that he continued, "you could do it more tidily…"  
  
Kamui's hand slammed down on Shigure's desk, scattering papers everywhere. "Why you…!"  
  
Sorata tried to hold him back. "Kamui, calm down!"  
  
Shigure just gave Kamui a long-suffering glance. "Look, I think it's a stupid idea too, but I'm not the one in charge here, I'm only the producer. I organize funding for this and distribute the proceeds. You have problems with it, tough, I'm not the person to yell at."  
  
"Just how did this idea come about?" asked Karen, as Kamui grudgingly returned to his seat. She leaned over towards Shigure alluringly, hoping to for some interesting morsel of information to slip.  
  
He gulped at tried to keep his eyes on her face. "I…I don't know!"  
  
"Funny that the government would know about all this too…" Seiichirou added, cheerfully, "since I don't remember putting "Dragon of Heaven" as my profession for the census last year."  
  
Shigure fiddled with his tie, and tried not to flush. "Come on, you've been attempting to hold off the apocalypse in the city, you can't expect people not to notice these things."  
  
Sorata, who had been about to say something, paused and held up a finger. "He's got a point, y'know."  
  
Everyone shuffled uncomfortably. "Well…"  
  
"So that's settled then, here are your scripts," Shigure said, seizing the moment and shoving a thick pile of books into the hands of Subaru, who happened to be sitting closest.  
  
"But…" Yuzuriha started.  
  
Shigure ignored her. "Show up at ten tomorrow for auditions. Now I'll have to say good-bye because I've got an appointment in five minutes."  
  
And with that, much to their confusion, the group found themselves in the hallway, facing a closed door.  
  
"But… we didn't even agree to anything…" Yuzuriha trailed off and sighed.  
  
It was a rather more dejected group that exited the building. So much so that they didn't even notice the other crowd storming in past them. Luckily the newcomers seemed to too furious to realize the significance of the other group leaving, and instead stormed through the corridors like a force 10 cyclone.  
  
As they smashed down Shigure's doors, he sighed and checked his watch. Yep, right on time. "Melodramatic, I'll give you that, but you'd better pay for that door," he said, by way of greeting. "Now, you have something to say for yourselves?"  
There was a pause.  
  
Then, Fuuma, the only one apart from Seishirou still capable of saying anything but incoherent ranting, spoke up, with a smirk. "You mentioned Kamui in pantaloons, I believe?"  
  
"So what's the play about again?" Yuuto asked, with a cheerful smile. "I can't say I'm exactly an expert on English literature."  
  
"Viola, this girl with a brother complex gets shipwrecked in a strange land and decides to cross-dress as her brother, who she thinks is dead, and help this obsessive stalker Count Orsino get together with the woman he loves," Satsuki recited in a bored monotone.  
  
"I wouldn't have thought you'd be into human literature," Kanoe said, looking surprised.  
  
"When I'm bored I read the internet," Satsuki replied. "Or at least, that tiny fraction of it which isn't porn. May I continue?"  
  
"By all means."  
  
"The woman, Olivia, who, incidentally, not only has a brother complex but a father one, and after their deaths decided to stay away from men, probably because she brought them bad luck or something. Naturally Viola falls in love with Orsino and Olivia falls with in love with Viola, who she thinks is a boy, and general chaos ensues, not helped by the fact that Viola's brother, Sebastian, the one who should be dead, isn't, and wanders around confusing everyone. In the end, Olivia and Orsino get one twin each and live happily ever after."  
  
Seishirou snorted, with an amused glint in his eye. "Only one twin? Why not both? Now there's a man with no aspirations."  
  
"The idiot should have stuck with Olivia, if she's that popular she'd have to be a babe," Yuuto disagreed. Satsuki started looking a little irritated, and Yuuto, who noticed this, instantly shut up.  
  
Fuuma stretched out and yawned. "You're both wrong. If Orsino was a Count it would be within his power to lock them all up in his dungeon and that way he gets the twins and Olivia at the same time."  
  
"There is more!" Satsuki steered the conversation back on topic. "There's also a sub-plot about the servants, with Maria, Olivia's maid, Sir Toby, Olivia's uncle and Sir Andrew, another doting suitor, plotting together with Feste the Fool to humiliate this other servant, Malvolio who is incredibly up himself and has a thing for Olivia as well. Essentially, there's two stories going on at the same time."  
  
"A story within a story," Kakyou said, dreamily.  
  
"Go back to sleep, Kakyou," Fuuma said, kindly. Kakyou obliged.  
  
"So… we're supposed to star in that?" Kusanagi asked, breaking his usual silence.  
  
"Oh, so you're talking to us now?" Seishirou smiled, like a crocodile.  
  
"Looks like it," Yuuto said, hurridly, before a fight started.  
  
"Isn't there any way we can get out of it?" Satsuki asked, plaintively.  
  
All eyes turned to Kanoe, who shrugged, then to Kakyou.  
  
Kakyou rolled his eyes. "There is only one future." The background changed from that of a sunny ice-cream parlor to that of the Dust Bowl at the End of the World and the other six Angels groaned simultaneously, knowing what was coming. "For the Promised Day will-"  
  
"Get to the point," Seishirou interrupted, "some of us have jobs to go to after this."  
  
The other Angels took a not-so-subtle step back at this, but Kakyou just sighed and said, "Yes, there's no way we can weasel out of this one-"  
  
"Thank you, that's all we needed to know."  
  
"But if it's any comfort to you, the Seven Seals also have some involvement in this. No doubt you'll come up with many small and large ways to make their lives more unpleasant than they already are while they huddle together in a corner and angst."  
  
"What?! You mean they're involved in this too? But I heard nothing of this from Hinoto!" Kanoe was shocked.  
  
"Then it appears that this even took Hinoto by surprise," Kakyou said, calmly. "Because, sure as eggs are pineapples, I didn't see this coming."  
  
"Sure as eggs are pineapples?" Fuuma raised an eyebrow.  
  
Kakyou scowled. "Look, I didn't come up with it, you try being a random observer to dreams and see how you are affected? I know I've got issues, but my psychologist says I'm making progress, and it's just part of what makes me a unique individual."  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"What's a psychologist?" asked Nataku, who had been making sand-castles in the background.  
  
The dreamscape faded and they found themselves back in the ice-cream parlor.  
  
"Well!" Kusanagi said, which summed it up rather nicely.  
  
There was a further pause before Yuuto asked Kanoe, "You mean someone actually took it seriously when you suggested we all had counseling?"  
  
"He's a dreamseer too," Kanoe pointed out. "After seeing what the Seals are like, he got quite scared and decided to have all his psychological problems sorted out before the Promised Day."  
  
"That sounds rather unlikely," Fuuma replied, "considering his Wish is for me to kill him, so it's not like he'll enjoy the results very long."  
  
"Okay, so I really withheld the hallucinogens from his drip. How else do you think he gets all those visions? But seriously, I truly think you should all give counseling a try."  
  
"You've changed," observed Satsuki, "normally you don't care how homicidal, sadistic or otherwise warped we are."  
  
Kanoe shuffled. "At work we all involuntarily went psychological assessment. I've now got an appointment with Dr Yashimoto twice a week." Her eyes glinted dangerously. "And if I go down, I'm taking you with me, you hear? Label me an exhibitionist nymphomaniac schizophrenic, will they?!"  
  
"You forgot voyeuristic," Kakyou mumbled.  
  
There was silence for a few seconds after the slap, and the Angels quickly resumed eating their icecream to avoid having to find something to say.  
  
Seishirou finished his popsicle first.  
  
"No stamina," Fuuma commented, with a grin, licking his own, which was barely started.  
  
"No rest for the wicked," Seishirou replied, smiling, "I've got work to do."  
  
"Don't forget your script," Nataku said, brightly, handing him the thick wad of paper.  
  
Seishirou gave him an indulgent smile. "Thank you." He turned towards Fuuma, who was deep-throating his popsicle, smirking, and said, "Shame on you, doing such things in front of children."  
  
"Like you can talk," Fuuma countered. He removed the stick from his mouth, swallowing the entire icecream in one go, and licked his lips.  
  
Seishirou whistled, appreciatively. "Nice party trick."  
  
Fuuma smirked. "Like me to demonstrate it for you sometime?"  
  
"Demonstrate what, Daddy?" Nataku asked, looking up curiously.  
  
"You don't want to know," Yuuto replied, turning as green as his choc-mint cone.  
  
Seishirou chuckled, "The difference between you and I, 'Kamui', is that I have class. And also that if I attempt to pollute young children's minds I do it properly and explain what certain 'things' mean. It's so much more fun to embarrass  
them that way."  
  
Nataku was looking up at 'Daddy' and Seishirou in confusion at this point, then gave up and ate his icecream, wearing half of it in the process.  
  
"Well, I'll be off. Goodbye all."  
  
And with that, the meeting rapidly broke up, as the various Angels returned to their lives.  
  
"Does anyone know what we're actually going to be auditioning as?" Kamui scowled to the rest of the Seals, who were slumped around a makeshift headquarters at CLAMP campus.  
  
"Well, I presume as characters in the play, but if you mean which characters, I'm not sure," Karen replied, thumbing through her copy of the play, humming cheerfully as she did so. "I never imagined I'd break into the acting industry in this way!"  
  
"Which way did you think you would?" asked Yuzuriha, her face radiating confused innocence.  
  
Karen winked. "I'll leave it to your imagination."  
  
Kamui, Seiichiro and Sorata blushed slightly, much to Karen's amusement, while Yuzuriha just looked even more confused. Subaru and Arashi were looking distinctly bored by the conversation already.  
  
"Well, I guess it's fair to assume that they aren't expecting us to memorize the entire play overnight," Arashi decided, "because I doubt that's humanly possible. So maybe we've just got to read it through then show up talking about our character preferences."  
  
There was a pause as everyone read through the brief synopsis at the beginning of the play, which summarized the various characters.  
  
"Nee-chan, it's clear that you'd make a terrific Olivia, while I definitely want to play Orsino," Sorata announced.  
  
"Orsino? Isn't he Olivia's obsessive stalker?" Yuzuriha said, brightly.  
  
Sorata gave an embarrassed laugh, as the other Seals all laughed, and even Arashi and Subaru managed smiles. "Yes, well," he said, "I can sympathize with him completely. She doesn't talk to him, want to see him, it's enough to break his poor heart. She's lucky she has such a caring, determined man after her, other people would have already given up."  
Arashi gave him the sort of startled look that suggested this had never occurred to her, then pursed her lips and declined commenting.  
  
"Do you think that the casting will be determined by gender, age and appearance or by personality?" Seiichiro asked, skimming his way through the text.  
  
No one had an answer to this.  
  
Subaru shrugged. "I suppose it'll be up to the director. He or she is the one in charge of this, so I assume we won't really get much of a say. That's how it usually is in most jobs, isn't it? This just happens to be one of the more interesting jobs I'll have to put on my resume."  
  
"You have a resume?" Karen asked, interested. "Do you put your profession as an Omyouji on it?"  
  
"Well, it's my only real job qualification," Subaru pointed out, "considering I never finished high school and never have worked elsewhere, and thus have no references." He paused, considering the truth of this fact. Actually, he did have a reference, he'd done work experience at Seishirou's surgery, in the days when Seishirou had still been a vet. Somehow, he didn't think that having the Sakurazukamori on his resume would impress anyone. Terrify, perhaps, as it would the imply the threat of being assassinated if Subaru wasn't given a job (never reject the Sakurazukamori's squeeze toy if you value your life), but it hardly was impressive to anyone out of the arcane industry.  
  
"I really hope that the charity concert covers the damage costs," Seiichiro sighed, "because I'd really have to take out a loan at this stage in my career, I don't know what my wife would think."  
  
"I wouldn't worry about it," Sorata replied, "because there's always the 50 chance that the world will be destroyed on the promised day." He was shot a Death Glare™ by Kamui and quickly laughed and said, "Only joking, Kamui, only joking."  
  
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Kamui muttered, angrily.  
  
"But what will we do if we have to pay the rest of the rebuilding costs?" Yuzuriha asked. "Does that mean…" her eyes lit up, "we could all get part-time jobs!"  
  
With this, an apprehensive mood fell over the table at the prospect of this bizarre bunch trying to find decent employment.  
  
_"Tony-san," the Other complained, "they broke my office door. I hope your government is planning to pay for that."  
  
"Naturally, Yamada-san," Tony replied, smoothly, "anything for our Japanese friends."  
  
"That sounds vaguely ominous," Shigure commented.  
  
"Oh, does it? I'm sorry."  
  
"What does your government plan to do though, having assembled the various Dragons?"  
  
"If we cannot avert the potentially apocalypse-causing battle, at least tip the balance so that humanity lives to breathe another day. You probably wouldn't be surprised to know that we've got an entire Bureau devoted to it. At the moment, we've got agents in the Otori academy, investigating 'World's End', not to mention people investigating several other incidents across the world. In other words, the same line of work as you.."  
  
"True," Shigure, conceded, "although my role is more that of a lowly bureaucrat, just gathering information."  
  
"In other words, you're a spy keeping an eye on what I'm up to?" Tony smiled. Shigure did a double take. "Well, I did say that Australian intelligence is better than you'd take it for. And I can't say I blame you, I am fully aware of how risky this is. But, on the bright side, if everything turns out well, at the very least the job of rebuilding will be subsidized."  
  
"But, if it fails… well, I suppose we won't have long to worry about it, will we?"  
  
"Don't be so pessimistic, Producer-san. This will be a great play, the best production of Twelfth Night that Japan has ever seen."  
"Oh, so you're back to the role of Director again?"  
  
"Naturally. And I expect I will be in this role for some time yet. We're in this together, Producer-san, so just trust me."  
  
"I'll try," Shigure mumbled.  
_**  
  
Skipsida's note**: So… the casting begins! It's up to the reviewers to choose who does what role, so review! The roles are:  
  
**The main love plot  
**Viola: The star, basically. A girl cross-dressing as a boy after being shipwrecked in a foreign country. She works for  
  
Orsino as his servant and is supposed to get Olivia to fall in love with Orsino, but falls in love with Orsino herself, which inevitably causes problems.  
  
Sebastian: Viola's twin, who is thought to be dead in the shipwreck (and he also thinks she is dead). Wanders around causing confused for Viola and being confused himself over the whole situation.  
  
Orsino: The Duke ruling the land of Illyria, who is in love with Olivia and won't take no for an answer. Oblivious to the fact "Cesario" is actually a girl.  
  
Olivia: After her brother and father dies, she decides to stay away from male company. She has absolutely no interest in  
  
Orsino, but when she sees Cesario (Viola dressed as a boy) she falls in love with him (her). And confusion reigns as soon as Sebastian enters town…  
  
Valentino and Curio: Orsino's manservants. Minor roles  
  
A sea captain: He saved Viola from the shipwreck and keeps her secret. A minor role.  
  
A priest: A minor role.  
  
Antonio: Saved Sebastian from the shipwreck and helps him in Illyria, despite being a criminal there . Acts above and beyond the call of friendship and if it weren't Shakespeare, my shounen-ai sensors would be ticking…  
  
First officer and second officer: They come chasing after Antonio at an inconvenient moment. Minor roles.  
  
**The subplot (the gulling of Malvolio)  
**  
Malvolio: Olivia's steward, who is incredibly pompous and a notorious puritan party-pooper. Yelling at Maria, Sir Toby and Sir Andrew is the last straw, and they decide to get revenge against him…  
  
Maria: Olivia's lady in waiting. A clever woman full of witty puns, who can't stand Malvolio. She hatches the plot to punish him.  
  
Sir Toby Belch: Olivia's uncle, a drunkard who loves having a good time. Admires Maria greatly for her wits and her plot.  
  
Sir Andrew Aguecheek: A rather clueless suitor of Olivia who is firmly rejected. Rather pathetic and dimwitted, but who readily goes along with the plot.  
  
Feste: Olivia's jester, although he occasionally visits Orsino's court. Probably the only sane person in the whole play, with a rather sarcastic sense of humor. He also joins the plot.  
  
Fabian: A member of Olivia's household, who goes along with the plot because he can't stand Malvolio.  
  
**My own ideas:** Heh. Naturally I've got my own ideas for what'd be amusing, and considering how complicated the love-plot is, I think it'd be amusing to have Seishirou as the obsessive Orsino, Subaru, mourning Hokuto, as Olivia, Kamui as Viola and Fuuma as Sebastian. I mean, the two 'Kamui' don't look that alike, but enough so that it's credible. laughs Or, alternately, the coupleless casting could be Yuzuriha as Viola, Kamui as Sebastian (they do like kinda similar), Arashi as Olivia the ice-maiden and Yuuto as the playboy Duke Orsino. As for the others, well… while I'd like to see the couples stick together, I'm going for the biggest amusement factor here, as well as matching up characters by personality, not necessarily gender. Nevertheless, I'm in love with the idea of the yaoi fangirls' favourite love square thingy being translated into Twelfth Night. So… what does everyone else think? (Hint: click "review"!)  
  



	3. Chapter 2 Auditions

**Chapter 2 – Auditions**  
  
It wasn't a dark and stormy night, being that it was a bright Tuesday morning, just before 10, if anyone is interested, but the mood across the room definitely was dark and stormy. Satsuki was sulking, being the first to arrive out of the Seals. Beast, fearing for its own wellbeing, had woken her up early, just to make sure she arrived on time, and while she could understand the sentiment, she wasn't a morning person. Hell, she wasn't a people-person any time of the day, and the secretary kept giving her strange looks. She ignored this and played with her mobile phone instead.  
  
"Ah, you're early," a voice greeted her. She looked up, glaring at the person who interrupted her game of "Snake" and found a foreigner cheerfully beaming down at her. She gazed at him, mildly interested, as she hadn't picked a foreign accent from him, in fact, she would have gone as far as saying he was a local. "Please, come right this way, Satsuki-san."  
  
And he knew her name. Not good.  
  
Find out who he is, she instructed Beast, squinting at the man's name tag, his name is Tony Forester.  
  
Her phone vibrated, as Beast sent the information back to her. Australian PhD student, writing his doctorate on the Japanese language, some interest in drama, has directed other Shakespeare before but in English. Age is twenty-seven, no criminal record, pays his tax, here on a student visa. Limited savings, was on Government benefits at home, as was much of the student population in his country, it seems. Hobbies include watching anime, amateur theatre and snorkeling. Has Yahoo!, Hotmail and university email accounts, which he checks rather infrequently and frequents gardening, Japanese art and international literature message-boards. Had a cat called Chloe which died in '96 of cancer. Has three over-due library books and an accumulating library fine.  
  
Neither useful nor interesting, she concluded, as she skim-read the message.  
  
"I'm Tony, your director," the man introduced himself, "and I'm thrilled to hear that you volunteered for this."  
  
She gave him a once over. Was he for real? Apparently so, everything about him was genuine, and the man seemed to radiate friendliness. She met his gaze, a bored expression on her face, then sat down at a proffered seat without saying a word or even looking at him again. He left her in peace.  
  
Arashi was next to arrive, with Sorato in tow, as per usual.  
  
"Come on, Nee-chan, I'm sure you'd be the perfect leading lady," he coaxed her, dancing around her like a puppy on speed.  
  
"I have no interest in that kind of thing," she retorted, "I'm just here because I have no choice. We should be trying not to be too conspicuous."  
  
She walked up to the front desk and asked the secretary, politely, "Is this the place for the Twelfth Night auditions?"  
  
"Yes it is, wait just a moment, the Director should be here any minute… in fact, there he is."  
  
"Good morning," he said, cheerfully, "this way, please…"  
  
He ducked out of the room almost as soon as he entered it, leaving Sorata and Arashi in what appeared to be a large hall with a circle of chairs in the middle. A girl with glasses was already seated there, fiddling with her mobile phone, and she paid them absolutely no attention at all as they entered.  
  
"Ohayo, jou-chan," Sorata said, cheerfully, trotting over and smiling, "so you're going to be working on this play too?"  
  
Satsuki didn't even look at him. "Leave me alone."  
  
Arashi automatically warmed to her, sensing a kindred spirit.  
  
"Wow, she's just like you, Nee-chan," Sorata laughed, slouching onto a seat and gesturing at Arashi to sit next to him. She did sit down, but it was a few chairs away, and after giving her a disappointed look, Sorata eventually moved closer. She sighed and stayed put, realizing it would do her no good to move around, he'd only follow her some more.  
  
"So, jou-chan, you have a name?" Sorata called.  
  
"Satsuki," was the cold reply.  
  
"I'm Sorata and this here is my future wife, Arashi."  
  
"Oh? She doesn't seem to think that," Satsuki observed, noticing Arashi's glare at Sorata without even shifting her eyes from the phone.  
  
"Ah, well…!" Sorata laughed, a little embarrassed.  
  
The director returned, with a few more people in tow: Kamui, Yuzuriha and Inuki, and Yuuto.  
  
"Ohayo!!" Yuzuriha cried, in her usual needlessly energetic way, and plonked herself down next to Arashi, gesturing to Inuki to come sit near her feet.  
  
Kamui, who was obviously in a foul mood, sat down next to Sorata. "Why did you leave without us?" he asked, irritably.  
  
At the same time he opened his mouth, Yuuto noticed Satsuki was there. "Oh, you're already here, Satsuki," he said, greeting her with a winning smile, and much to the others amazement, Satsuki looked up and almost smiled, gripping her phone so tightly her hand went white around it.  
  
"It's that charming public servant! Fancy meeting you here!" Sorata said, laughing.  
  
Yuuto chuckled. "Well, if it's not the friendly Osaka boy."  
  
"You know each other?" Arashi asked, startled.  
  
"We have that honour, yes," Yuuto said, giving her a moderately powerful smile, the sort which melts butter but not, in this case, Arashi. Well, not much anyway. As it was, she smiled back, slightly surprised at herself as she did so.  
Another small group of people was led into the room, one of them having an in depth conversation with the Director.  
  
"Kusanagi-san!" Yuzuriha cried, leaping to her feet in joy. Inuki raised his head Kusanagi's way and Kusanagi gave them both startled looks.  
  
"Good… morning. I didn't know you were a part of this…" he managed, making his way towards her. She grabbed his arm and steered him to a seat next to her, chatting animatedly.  
  
The others didn't seem to be showing any sign of coming into the room, but after a few seconds, they heard the director say, "I think some others have arrived, just seat yourselves down inside there, and I'll be with you shortly." And the pair entered.  
  
Nataku was in a good mood. Because Daddy had said it was a special occasion, he'd worn his favourite pair of socks and matching underpants. They had little pink bunnies on them and he'd even brought his bunny umbrella to complete the ensemble, even though it showed no sign of raining, because it was pretty. He wasn't letting the fact that the other people he met acted so funny when he tried to show off his pretty underwear, because Daddy said they were pretty, and Daddy was always right. So he put a big smile on his face and skipped into the room, followed by his 'Daddy'.  
  
"Fuuma," Kamui said, emotionlessly, getting to his feet. There was a moment of horrified silence as everyone did a double-take, suddenly realizing how bad the situation was going to become in about five seconds time, and the tension in the room rose enough to strangle-point. "I should have known." He moved around the circle of chairs, keeping his eyes on Fuuma the whole time, sticking to the other side of the circle to Fuuma, who was making his way towards him. Those stuck in the middle (ie. everyone in the room) started to feel roughly what it felt like to be in the eye of a tornado, knowing that all hell was going to break loose any second.  
  
"Good morning, Kamui," Fuuma smirked, a predatory glint to his eyes.  
  
The other Dragons, who had been chatting among themselves before Fuuma had entered reluctantly started moving towards their respective 'Kamui', all looking rather nervous. Well, that is, except for Kusanagi and Yuzuriha, who hesitated, not wanting to give away which side they were on to the other.  
  
It was at that point that the Director walked in, pushing a wheelchair, and deposited Kakyou in a gap in the circle.  
  
"Shouldn't be too long before everyone arrives," he said, cheerfully, seemingly oblivious to the entire situation. "Oh, by the way, we've got a coffee machine there in the corner, don't hesitate to help yourselves."  
  
"I'll do just that," Fuuma said, and the situation wound down slightly, from open warfare to plain hostility. He strided towards machine confidently and peered back over his shoulder. "How hot do you like your coffee, Kamui?" Kamui glared at him.  
  
"And we should be having some cakes brought in for breakfast and snacks any moment, so wait just a moment," the Director added. He peered down at Kakyou, who was pale and had a drip in his arm. "Is there anything you need?"  
  
"I'll be fine," Kakyou replied calmly, taking in the situation.  
  
Subaru was next to enter, followed by Seiichiro and Karen. The mood of the room repeatedly rose to boiling point, just to be defused again when the Director made his frequent appearances in and out of the room.  
  
Finally, the Director brought in one final person, a man in a dark black coat and dark glasses. None other than everyone's favourite assassin, Seishirou. Subaru instantly stiffened and clenched his fists, as Seishirou smiled pleasantly and said, "Sorry I made everyone wait, I've just arrived straight from work."  
  
The Director smiled. "Not at all, we understand completely. And it's only ten past anyway." They sat down in the only remaining seats and the Director beamed at them all. "Well, I guess I'd better introduce myself. My name is Tony Forrester, and I'm your director for this play, Twelfth Night."  
  
All eyes were on the man, who was taller than the rest of them, being from a country where the population was on average taller than in Japan. He had dark brown hair and eyes, but didn't really look that noteworthy. He was dressed fairly casually and spoke perfect Japanese without an accent.  
  
"I've always been interested in seeing how Shakespeare translates across cultures," he continued, "so how this play goes is really up to all of you, you can bring it into the play whatever context you like, and explore the various characters as you wish. So long as the general idea is preserved, well, it's all good. After all, you can't expect it to go completely unchanged when crossing cultures. Now why doesn't everyone introduce themselves?"  
  
They went around the circle, doing so, quite obviously appraising their various adversaries now that they were in a position to do so freely.  
  
"Okay, well now we know who everyone is, I thought we'd best do some drama warm-ups. I think a bit of improvisation would be a good idea, so I'll just pick random members of the group and you can just improvise from the idea I give you. Okay, Satsuki, was it?"  
  
She looked up. "Yes?"  
  
"I've got no problems with you playing with your phone, so long as it's on silent, but you're also up first. I'd like you to… be a frying egg."  
  
She blinked. "Excuse me?"  
  
"A frying egg. I want you to act out being an egg being fried, the movements, the sound effects, you get the idea."  
A snigger fell over the group, as the majority silently breathed out in relief that they hadn't been chosen to do something so utterly humiliating.  
  
Satsuki blushed.  
  
"No, don't feel shy, it's just an exercise, you're supposed to look stupid. Come on, it'll break the ice, give it a go!"  
  
She wasn't sure how, but Satsuki was starting to feel almost sorry for Tony, with his earnest face and gentle words. He seemed genuinely hurt that she wasn't going to give it a go, and while normally she wouldn't care in the slightest, the realization that Beast's well-being relied on her being here tweaked somewhere in her memory, so, finally, she sighed and stepped out into the middle of the circle of chairs, shuffled slightly then fell to the ground, making half-hearted sizzling noises.  
  
After about a minute of the torture, Tony said, "Okay, that's great, Satsuki, it's always hard being first." He clapped and the others joined in, wondering what kind of a weirdo he was. He seemed genuine, but how could not notice the atmosphere in the room? And, more strangely still, despite the fact he part of an event which was effectively blackmailing them, not only did it seem that he had no part in it but he was also oddly likeable, as he chatted to them all in a friendly and oddly charming manner. He certainly didn't look dangerous, and was joking about mistranslations.  
  
"And you see, the Japanese dutifully translated the episode of "Skippy the Bush Kangaroo" a little too literally, because the man said 'it hurts like buggery!', buggery being an expletive to add emphasis, and they translated it as 'it hurts like the last time I was sodomised!'"  
  
This caused some amused laughter, particularly from the more corrupt members of the group.  
  
"Eh? What's sodomy?" asked Yuzuriha, brightly.  
  
"Uh…" Sorata looked left and right, looking for help.  
  
"Ooh! Ooh! Daddy taught me that!" Nataku chirped. The Dragons' eyes bugged out slightly, wondering in which way he was referring to. "You see, when a man loves another man very much…"  
  
Kusanagi covered Nataku's mouth quickly, not wanting his Yuzuriha to have her mind polluted.  
  
Subaru said, in a bland voice. "It's to do with gay sex. Enough said."  
  
Fuuma's eyes glittered. "Not necessarily. Would you like me to demonstrate for you?"  
  
"No!"  
  
Tony was looking amused. "Ah… I forgot there was children present. I'll tone it down a little!" he laughed. "Okay, next up is… Seiichiro and Yuuto. Yuuto, you a teenage girl trying to tell Seiichiro, your conservative Catholic mother, that you are pregnant."  
  
There were a few sniggers at this, but the two men stood up gamely, exchanged glances, daring the other to go first then finally, nodded.  
  
Seiichiro pulled a seat into the middle of the circle and sat down, miming reading a newspaper, while Yuuto took off his jacket and shoved it up his shirt, creating a pot-belly.  
  
"Mother dearest?" Yuuto asked.  
  
"Yes dear?" Seiichiro replied, in a bad falsetto.  
  
"I've got something… to tell you…" Yuuto stammered, doing an overdramatic impression of shivering.  
  
"What is it dear? Is it about that A minus you got last semester? Don't worry, darling, I'm sure you'll do better next time."  
  
"N-no," Yuuto replied.  
  
Seiichiro looked up, doing quite a good job of keeping a straight face. "Spit it out dear."  
  
"I-I'm pregnant!" he couldn't stand it anymore and bent over, laughing.  
  
Meanwhile, Seiichiro threw a falsetto hissy-fit. "How could you do this to us?! I thought you loved us! And we raised you so well! My daughter is a whore! A whore!! Please tell me you plan to marry the man!"  
  
"His name is Akito, and yes, I want to marry him. I shall be his seventh wife, and entertain him on Tuesdays. We shall move to the Bahamas and be happy. We shall call the baby Moonchild III."  
  
General hysteria spread over the room and Seiichiro screamed in a particularly ear-piercing way, "That's it! You're getting an abortion!"  
  
"And you call yourself Catholic!" Yuuto laughed.  
  
"I'm sorry, but it was the part about being Tuesday's wife which got to me!" Seiichiro countered, his voice returned to its normal range and shaking with laughter.  
  
"Okay! Now you're getting into it!" Tony congratulated them. Let's see if the rest of you can do the same! Next it… Natuku and Kakyou. Nataku, you're trying to get Kakyou, your boyfriend, to say he loves you, and you, Kakyou, are trying to get Nataku, your girlfriend, to sleep with you."  
  
"But I don't want to go out with Kakyou!" Nataku said, emotionlessly. "He smells like medicine and sleeps all the time."  
  
"Well, I don't want to attempt to seduce a genderless, emotionless bioroid either," Kakyou replied wryly, "but I suppose since my first choice of girlfriend couldn't make it today…" he shot a glance at Seishirou, who beamed back at him.  
  
"Do I have to do it?" Nataku glanced at Fuuma. He nodded, not taking his eyes off Kakyou, who was looking amaemic, as per usual.  
  
"And… action!" Tony called.  
  
"Say you love me."  
  
"Only if you have sex with me."  
  
"Okay." Nataku started stripping off.  
  
"Hey, hey, hey! There are minors present!" Tony laughed. "And what kind of a girl would give in that easily? For that matter, what kind of a boy would use that as a pick up line?"  
  
Subaru glanced at Seishirou. Seishirou glanced at Subaru. Subaru looked away carefully.  
  
"Pardon me for not putting more energy into it, but my glucose drip doesn't seem to have kicked in," Kakyou replied, sounding tired, as Nataku, who had only removed his shirt, put it back on.  
  
"Okay, Seishirou, you arrived late, here's a silly one for you. You are a dying cockroach."  
  
"A what?" For a moment there, the mask slipped, and Subaru could see the irritated Sakurazukamori underneath Seishirou's smiling exterior.  
  
"A dying cockroach."  
  
The mask was adjusted and the beaming persona surfaced. "I see." Seishirou stepped into the middle of the circle, clutched his chest dramatically and fell flat on his back, ignoring the fact he was wearing an expensive suit, and writhed, with full leg action, before finally lying still.  
  
There was stunned silence, as those who'd actually witnessed death previously noted both Seishirou's facial expression and death-throes to be particularly realistic.  
  
Then the director clapped slowly. "I hate to see how many cockroaches you had to torture just to practice that."  
  
Seishirou smiled. "No cockroaches."  
  
"Oh, so you killed ants as a kid," Tony nodded, knowingly.  
  
"You could say that."  
  
"Okay," Tony said, turning back to the rest of the nervous group as Seishirou sat down. "Kamui and Arashi, you are a pair of hostage negotiators and Karen, you a psychopath with a gun, holding Sorata hostage."  
  
Everyone winced at the sound of this, and all eyes flicked towards Kamui, who remained stubbornly poker-faced. "Fine," he said, getting up. The others reluctantly stepped into the circle.  
  
"Sorry, whispered Karen to Sorata, giving him an awkward smile, before seizing him from behind and holding a finger 'gun' to his head, bellowing, "nobody move or the kid gets it!"  
  
"Help me, nee-chan, help me!" Sorata bleated, meanwhile enjoying the fact that Karen's breasts were being shoved into his back.  
  
Arashi rolled her eyes. "This is the police. We understand you have problems, do you want to talk about them?"  
  
"Damn right, I have problems," Karen declared, "but they're none of your business."  
  
"What do you want?" Kamui asked, giving her a cool glance, while Sorata wiggled cheerfully.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Well, you've captured a hostage, now what? Are you planning to do anything with him or are you just wasting our time?"  
  
"I'll kill him! And then I'll kill you! All of you! And I'll set the city on fire, so it'll be cleansed by flame!" Karen laughed, a psychotic glint in her eye.  
  
"Nice," Tony commented.  
  
Kamui opened his mouth but Arashi quickly stepped in. "Are you sure you don't have anything on your mind you don't want to talk about? Why do you want to do this?"  
  
"Because blood and fire is pretty," Karen giggled.  
  
Sorata started looking worried. "Nee-chan, I can't see her face, is she still acting?"  
  
"Of course I'm acting," Karen said, reassuringly, stroking his face in a way that may Arashi frown.  
  
"Phew, that's a relief, for a moment there I thought you'd lost it," Sorata commented, before sinking back into character.  
  
"Help! Help! Is there no one who'll help me? I don't want to die! I knew I was supposed to die for a woman, but not this way!"  
  
"Don't worry, you can be a human shield," Karen said, comfortingly, "because I think the nice police officer over there is losing his temper." She gestured in the general direction of Kamui.  
  
"That's it. Either kill him and be done with it or make a demand. If you don't, we'll just shoot you."  
  
"You can't do that!" Arashi said, shocked. "You'll kill the hostage."  
  
"That's the best way to deal with hostage negotiating," Kusanagi called, "shoot the hostage through the shoulder. She's holding him in such a way it'd go straight into her heart, and while she's falling, two to the body, two to the head."  
  
Yuzuriha looked at him in surprise and he shrugged. "I'm in the army, it's my job to be violent."  
  
Arashi looked startled and decided to integrate it into the skit, as the director didn't seem to be bothered by this interruption. "Uh… our radio back-up says to send in a sniper, Kamui. That'd be you, I suppose."  
  
Kamui looked left and right, reached into his pocket, pulled out a crumpled ball of paper and threw it at Karen's head.  
  
"Pow," he said, lamely.  
  
"Ugh! You got me!" Karen said, ignoring the fact that had she really been shot she'd be in no position to speak, and slumped to the ground.  
  
"Yay! Nee-chan saved me! My hero!" Sorata bounced up to Arashi and glomped onto her arm.  
  
She looked at him irritably and shook her arm. "Get off me."  
  
They all looked at Tony, who laughed and said, "Okay, you can sit back down again. Not bad, although audience intervention isn't really supposed to happen, but never mind. Next up… Kusanagi, you're an obnoxious customer and Subaru, you're a lazy sales assistant. And action!"  
  
"Oi, salesman," Kusanagi ordered, "I was wondering if you could help me."  
  
"Probably," Subaru replied.  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"You asked if I could help you, not for me to help you."  
  
"Well, would you?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess. What do you need."  
  
"An icecream scoop," Kusanagi improvised.  
  
"Eisle three, second on the right, after the toothpaste display," Subaru said in a bored monotone. "Anything else?"  
  
"Well, I've been there, and I just can't decide. Can you tell me a bit about them."  
  
"Yeah, they're all good, there's some which are cheaper than others and some which are better than others, it's a matter of finding the good ones."  
  
"Well, could you help me with that?"  
  
Subaru glared at him and stood up, stretching his arms and groaning. "Yeah well, this is a good one."  
  
"Does it do anything?"  
  
"It scoops icecream."  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
"No, why would it?"  
  
"Well, I was looking for a cute one. One which makes noises or looks pretty or something."  
  
"Why in the hell would you want something like that?"  
  
"It's for a present."  
  
"For a weirdo." Subaru sighed. "We've got this one, its handle is shaped like a cow head and it moos when you use it.  
Will that do?"  
  
"Heavens no, she's lactose intolerant," Kusanagi smirked. "She'd think I was trying to poison her or something."  
  
Subaru glared at him. "We don't have any scoops shaped like soy beans making vegetation sound effects, sir, we're just a supermarket, not a junk store. Try next door."  
  
"Oh, I've tried there, they're too expensive," Kusanagi simpered, changing tactics and trying on an annoying voice.  
  
"How much were you looking to spend," Subaru asked, through gritted teeth.  
  
"Oh, less than 2000 yen."  
  
"I don't think you'll find anything, and even if you did, you'd still need to buy batteries."  
  
"Batteries?" Kusanagi asked, shocked.  
  
"What did you think they'd run on, solar power?"  
  
"Oh, that's a good idea, is there one like that?"  
  
"No. Goodbye."  
  
Subaru walked off, leaving Kusanagi calling, "But now what am going to buy?!"  
  
"Ready-scooped icecream is in the dairy isle, have a nice day."  
  
Everyone clapped, because it was simple and it worked. And, believe it or not, they were actually reasonably convincing, although most of the acting on Subaru's part was largely due to apparent nicotine cravings making him crabby.  
  
"Now you're getting the hang of it," Tony crowed, enthusiastically. "You're up last, Fuuma and Yuzuriha, think you can out do them? Yuzuriha, you're a Jehovah's witness going door-knocking, and Fuuma, you're a pissed off Satanist, who she's trying to convert. And, action!"  
  
Yuzuriha mimed knocking on the door. "Hellooooo!" she chirped. Inuki barked. She decided to go for the Univeral Preacher's Greeting to Those From Other Religions (universal to every religion which believes that anyone who isn't a member of their religion is wrong). "You're going to hell, you know!"  
  
"Yes, I know," Fuuma smiled smoothly, sprawling against an invisible door-frame. "May I help you?"  
  
"Have you considered the welfare of your soul?"  
  
"Which one?"  
  
"Huh?" Yuzuriha blinked, looking confused.  
  
"Come on in, it's pointless to talk in the doorway," Fuuma gestured at her to enter and she did so, looking around.  
  
"Don't mind that body over there, I think he's probably only sleeping," Fuuma called over his shoulder. "Now, would you like a drink?"  
  
"Uh… yes please."  
  
"Sit yourself down, I'll just be a moment."  
  
"Nice décor you've got," Yuzuriha said, nervously, sitting down and gesturing for Inuki to jump on her lap, "lots of stars."  
  
"They're pentacles and arcane marks, honouring Satan my lord and master," Fuuma replied, returning miming holding a glass. "Here you go."  
  
Yuzuriha mimed taking a sip. "It's good, what is it?"  
  
"Blood wine," Yuzuriha choked, "left over from last night's Black Sabbath. Now, you were talking about souls. Was it mine you were after or one of the many in my possession."  
  
Yuzuriha laughed nervously. "Yours, I think, you can work on your friends later."  
  
"And were you offering anything specific for it?"  
  
"Uh… peace on earth, happiness and you get to go to heaven."  
  
Fuuma considered. "Nah. Boring. Anything better?"  
  
"You won't have to go to hell to burn horribly and be one of the unrighteous smited on Judgement Day," Yuzuriha proclaimed.  
  
"Listen, if I go to hell it'd be to my summer house there, I've got quite an estate and lordship waiting for me there, and by the way, your God is a pussy and there's no way Satan won't win against him on Judgement Day, and anything your side says is just naïve propaganda. But, while on the subject of souls, how is yours doing? It'd be all pure, untarnished… and I daresay that you were raised in a religious family, am I correct?" Fuuma leaned closer and Yuzuriha backed away, nervously.  
  
"Y-yes."  
  
"A pure soul is a very valuable thing, now, isn't it? So pretty, for my… collection," Fuuma stroked her hair and Yuzuriha let out a squeak, her eyes like that of a rabbit's reflecting an oncoming truck.  
  
Inuki started growling at Fuuma, who ignored him, mimed pulling out a knife and raised an arm ominously. Yuzuriha screamed, leapt back and burst into tears and Inuki leapt in the gap between Yuzuriha and Fuuma, barking and baring his teeth.  
  
"Stop it!" Kamui shouted, standing up and making towards Yuzuriha, who Karen was already comforting. "That wasn't funny."  
  
"I was only acting, Kamui, you take everything too seriously," Fuuma said, his voice in Kamui's ear as the space between them was suddenly bridged. Kamui found his cheek being stroked by Fuuma and leapt back, angrily.  
  
"Well, he was pretty convincing," Tony said, looking both amused and dismayed by the way things had turned out. He gave Fuuma a slightly admiring look and said, "Tone it down, okay? But that was good, I must say." He turned to Yuzuriha. "Don't worry, it wasn't real. That's the thing with acting, it can seem that way, but he didn't really mean it, just remember that."  
  
"Yes he did," she hiccupped, but her tears were already drying up and she bent down and hugged Inuki, who licked her face comfortingly.  
  
"Maybe we should get on with the actual auditioning," Tony decided, considering the scene in front of him. "Have you all brought your scripts?" Everyone nodded dutifully.  
  
"Okay, we'll have a short break, and then we'll jump right into it. I'll just be out to have a smoke, during which time, I believe the producer, Hito Shigure, wishes to speak to you all as a group."  
  
Shigure, who had been waiting at the door, nodded and entered, as Tony walked out towards the reception.  
  
"I've calculated the potential profits from this venture, and unless sales are very good, there is no way that this venture will cover the entirety of the damage bills," he announced.  
  
"Oh, that's a relief, that means we don't have to do this after all," Seiichiro said.  
  
"No, nothing like that. You are now legally bound to do this play, but that's not all. The extra money must be made up by you, in any way possible. I urge you all to undertake some form of work to pay for it all before the end of the financial year. That is all." And with that, he walked out, ignoring the general uproar that this statement had brought.  
  
_"So, how did they take it?" Tony asked, flicking ash into the wind.  
  
"I believe they wish to kill me," Shigure replied.  
  
"Oh? Is that all? Well, that's no problem then, you've got the necessary protection, don't you?"  
  
"Against magic, yes, but one of them is from the army and I don't know if I could survive ten rounds from an assault rifle in the chest."  
  
"I suggest you start wearing a Kevlar vest," Tony said, nonchalantly, breathing out a line of smoke. "I really can't bring myself to care for your problems, considering I've just realized what I've got myself into."  
  
"Finally-"  
  
"Not one of them is an outstanding actor."  
  
Shigure's mouth opened and closed.  
  
"They aren't bad, and some of them are quite good, but none of them has the talent needed to perform nationally for this kind of event. I've got a mammoth task ahead of me."  
  
Shigure considered. "Tony-san, either you've got nerves of steel or you're an idiot."  
  
Tony laughed. "I wouldn't say nerves of steel, more like morality of mercury: liquid and hazardous to your health."  
  
"So what was it you were getting them all to do anyway? Make idiots of themselves?"  
  
"Well, that too, but it was to gauge the way they act as a group and their personalities. Know thy enemy, and even when acting, it's amazing how much of yourself you put into roles, especially improvisation. I think I've got a pretty good handle on the situation, now… but we'd better continue this later, time's almost up and I'd better return to the group."  
  
"Good luck. I think you need it more than ever now."_  
  
**Skipsida's Note  
  
**Was there much of a point to this chapter other than mindless humiliation of the cast? Actually... yes. It was a drama warm-up and there's nothing like humiliating yourself in front of the people you're going to work with to break the ice, especially when they do likewise. Furthermore, people put into improvisation depends on the person in question, so it can be quite revealing. And, finally... well, Tony is an empath... just watching interaction at all is interesting to him...  
  



End file.
